It is Going to be a Very Long Year!

This last week has been uneventful when it comes to events anyways. My emotions have been running wild though. There was one thing that I forgot to mention in my last post, well I didn't forget I sort of left it out on purpose. I got a positive pregnancy test several days ago, three actually. It was the night before my appointment with my RE and I had been feeling so so tired (I still am) so I decided to take a test. I was stund when it came out positive. It was fairly faint but Nick saw it too and he never sees the imaginary lines that I do. I didn't really think that it was possible for me to be pregnant because I had had a blood test a few days before that showed low E2 meaning that I probably hadn't ovulated. The next morning I took another pregnancy test and it was positive again. Same with the one that afternoon. I then went to the doctor and my ultrasound showed no change and so did my E2. The doctor did a progesterone test that showed low results. I didn't ovulate nor was I pregnant. I never really believed that I was so I was shocked that when it was confirmed that I wasn't pregnant I was devistated, I couldn't stop crying. I later found out after hours of searching the internet that Menopur can cause false positive pregnancy tests because it contains small amounts of hcg.

Nick and I have decided to get our names in to recieve donated embryos. It is affordable as far as fertility treatment goes but the bad part is that there is at least a three year waiting list. We are trying to decide what to do this next year as far as treatments. As far as we know our plan is to get healthy (and pray I start ovulating on my own) and to save up possible for a round of IVF in december or january of next year. I am not confident that this is the way to go because I don't know how I will respond to the stims or if the IVF will result in a pregnancy in the first place, all of the what ifs worry me.

What ever happens Nick and I are buying a house and when we do we are going to become foster parents. I really want a baby of my own but three years is a long time to wait and we becoming foster parents will allow us to have children in our lives.
So that is the update for this week, I am not sure when I will post again I really don't see much happening anytime soon. Have a wonderful weekend and I hope all your dreams come true in the new year.

1000 Days is a Very Long Time!

I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I have so much to say as a lot has happened!
In my last post I mentioned that af did not come when she was expected. Well she never showed up at all. I waited until the 9th I believe and I called my RE she then set up an appointment for a baseline ultrasound and did some blood work. She is still unsure as to why I never got my period. I was then put on Menopur starting on the 13th, I took 150iu for two days then I took 75iu for four days. I went back in for an ultrasound and blood work on the 19th it showed no response so she upped my dose of menopur to 150iu a day for four days and once again I didn't respond my E2 was around 52 (what ever that means!). She kept me on the 150iu dose for four more days. I went in for yet another ultrasound today (really early I might add) I had two follicles, one on each ovary that were 8mm, not very big but bigger than the others so I was obviously excited as I thought that the meds were actually working. During my consult with my RE after the ultrasound she said that it didn't look like I was responding. She said that it was best to just cancel this cycle. I will be put on Provera for 10 days and then birth control for a few months. I do not like the idea of being on BC as it really seems counter productive.
So this is what is going on with this cycle.

There is something else I really need to tell everyone. Nick and I have decided to take a break from ttc with help. We have been trying for exactly 1000 days tomorrow and with the cost of this canceled cycle and the stress we thought that it would be best for us to take a break for the next year and just focus on us. Since a couple of months before we were married we have been trying to get pregnant, at first it wasn't very stressful as we were sort of just going with it. But during that first year we were going through a ruff time and then after that first year the stress off ttc got to us. Our relationship was better but ttc takes alot of emotional effort. We are now half way through our third year of marriage and we have decided to make 2012 all about us and about our relationship and about being together, no more stress with fertility treatments and their costs. We plan on going on minny trips and paying off debt, we want to buy a house and a car, as disappointed as I am about this cycle not working out I am so excited that we can make some time for us. I know that LTTTC can destroy a relationship and I will not let that happen.

That is all for now I suppose. Happy New Years!

Where is she!

I always get my period on the third day after stopping provera. It has been this way since I started provera to bring on af six months ago! So based on that I should have got my period today! but she was a no show. If she had come today I could have started stemming on saturday. I am not even cramping so who knows when she will show up. I have never wanted a period so bad! And my body disappoints me again...
Hopefully I she will show up tomorrow so I can call my RE and set up an appointment.